As I prepared to move across the country (back in 2004), I decided to start a blog for family and friends to keep up with me. Now it's the place where I dump my brain - for good and for bad. And you get to participate in my mess!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I am an artist - and I think I had almost forgotten.

There are times when I think I forget who I am inside. I get so caught up in being a 'budding theologian' that I forget that I was created as an artist first. My art, my music, my love for all the arts - they all are a HUGE part of who I am as a person and as God's creation.

This week is Arts Fest - a week long festival celebrating the artists on campus, as well as locally, and allowing us all the opportunity to be free with our art. What a joy! What an amazing group of talented people are assembled here - and I am blessed to call them friends!

Last night was a concert that was well worth the effort to put on. The Fuller Vocal Ensemble performed first - a collection of pieces ranging from Mozart to Manahattan Transfer!! It was a joy to make music with these friends - and to get to sing the way I love to sing. I was in heaven.

The second half of the concert was a great minimalistic piece, In C, by Terry Riley. It's hard to describe - although the best I managed was that it is like scripted improv.

Tonight was the dance and poetry night - called Fusion. Several dance pieces and readings from our annual collection of poetry and writings - Offerings.

As tonight's event closed, and the tech stuff was put away (thanks Michelle) I was able to witness something that made my heart smile. In the back corner of this auditorium where art was created, shared, experienced, several friends were laughing and having a wonderful time - celebrating the event and enjoying the friendships forged. Up front there were two men who chose this time and place to have some serious prayer time with God - surrounded by the people and experiences that still hung in the air.

What a picture of the community at Fuller as well as the Kingdom of God!

United in purpose and focus - while still diverse and unique. Drawn together by God and our art - but separated by the various expressions. Building community with each other through experiences and faith - while not needing to be united in activity in that moment.

Thank you, my friends, for that accidental and inspired moment of worship for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the show

Tangled wires twisting out of control – tamed by a skilled hand
Spoken words hanging in the air – hearts changed by their force
Notes of music ringing in power – brought tears to dry eyes
Bodies moving, graceful and strong – preached the Word

Lights up
Crowd dispersed
Art but a memory

Laughter
Celebrate
Community gathered

Quiet
Isolated
Men praying faithfully

This is… my community
This is… our art, our voice
This is… the Kingdom.

Monday, April 24, 2006

New Link...

Over there ----------------------------->

It's a link to my folder of Sermon stuff:
The text
The recording
The Powerpoint slides
The benediction

Hope everyone enjoys. I'd actually really like feedback, as I'm thinking about the process and what I can improve upon the next time.

Thanks!

Makoto Fujimura

Wow. This artist is here on campus today for the start of our Arts Fest. I stumbled upon his blog and discovered that, not only is he a gifted visual artist, but also a gifted writer and theologian.

I look forward to his event tonight...

Refractions

~jenn

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Not so profound... and very profound

So, Monday night I went with Michelle and Jim to the Cubbies at the Dodgers! Cubbies won, 4-1! Woohoo!!!

Anyway, my not-so-profound statement of the night:

As much as I want to catch a ball... I don't think I'm ready for the reality of a ball flying at me.


And then today, in my Small Group, we were talking about Methodism and some of the lists of things to do to become holy. And we were complaining about the lists and how silly and absurd they are...

And Daniel said something along the lines of this (paraphrased):

Do we find these lists binding and constricting because they are? Or because we are already bound to something else - our habit of disobedience?


Ouch.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Turns out I had the right Underoos after all!

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman
You are a beautiful princess with great strength of character.




Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Monday, April 10, 2006

The sermon

Worship the King!
Luke 19.28-44

Pray with me:

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of all our hearts be acceptable to You, O Lord, our Rock and our Redeemer . Amen.


Guess what?? It’s Palm Sunday! Did you know that? [beat] Oh, you did. Well, OK.


Did you know that this was the day that Jesus rode triumphantly into Jerusalem? [beat] Oh… you knew that too. Hmmmm.


Well, maybe you didn’t know about what comes next… about why this Royal Parade soon turns into a royal bummer for Jesus. [beat] You know about that, too?


If we’re so familiar with today’s story, what does that leave me to share with you this morning? Is there anything new to be learned from the Palm Sunday account that Luke wrote? Is there any reason for us to go back and re-read Scriptures that perhaps we’ve heard once or twice in our lifetime?

While re-reading this passage in Luke, I was struck by several things I hadn’t really paid attention to before:

  • how the owners of the colt only need a short sentence to release what is surely valuable property,
  • the disciples put Jesus on the colt, he didn’t mount it himself,
  • the promise that even the stones would cry out in worship were the people silent,
  • Jesus’ weeping and prophesying doom over Jerusalem.

So many details that get left out of the “Reader’s Digest” version of this story that remains in my memory. While there are many things at which we could and probably should look, I’d specifically like to take a closer look at the crowd gathered that day.

Imagine with me, if you will:


It is a warm, spring day (according to Weather.com, Jerusalem was sunny and in the 70’s today). The Sabbath, with its many restrictions, has ended and you and I, faithful Jews, are on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. The Festival of the Unleavened Bread will begin later this week, and the most appropriate and holy place to celebrate Passover is Jerusalem. We are some of the lucky ones, the blessed ones. We are able to make this pilgrimage when so many cannot. But this is the place to be: the Holy Land, the Holy City, the Holy Temple of Jerusalem.

Earlier today, we saw a parade, a military display, put on by Pilate. He does this every year – making sure we remember who is in charge here. As if we could forget! He rides into town on his warhorse, surrounded by his army. I suppose he’s worried because of all the extra people in town, but really, we’re here for a Holy celebration! Does he really think that our prayers and meals will get out of hand?

This afternoon, we have heard many new stories about this Rabbi called Jesus from the town of Nazareth. The newest stories are that he raised his friend from the dead yesterday! From the dead!! I mean, he’s done some pretty amazing things – healings, casting out demons, turning water into wine – but Lazarus was dead a few days! It’s not like he was simply in a deep sleep, or that a mistake was made. Lazarus was D-E-D dead ! Jesus seems to be getting bolder in his actions. Maybe we should go and see what he might do – I heard that he’s supposed to be coming into town from Bethany for the Passover.

[beat] OK – you can come back to the present now.

So, the crowds were made up of mostly Jewish pilgrims, making their way into Jerusalem for the Passover. At that time, Jerusalem was a city of 50,000 people – about the size of Disneyland on a busy day – and because of Passover the population swells to around 150,000 people – that’s more people than live in Santa Monica, or Pasadena, or Burbank . It’s no wonder Pilate wants to make a show of his power and might. It is this crowd that caught my attention, and the attention of the Pharisees. Did they catch your attention? Surely, you noticed their passion! But did you notice their knowledge or their faithfulness?

These people are not ordinary people, they are the faithful Chosen Race of Israel. They have taken on a pilgrimage to a city not their own, to live in overcrowded, somewhat hostile conditions in order that they might worship God in the way that is described in the Holy Books. They are prepared to spend time, and energy, and money to be in the holiest place they know for this Festival that celebrates God’s deliverance of their ancestors and of themselves.

Are we this faithful? Do we celebrate God’s deliverance well? Does God look upon us with favor and say “Well done, good and faithful servant[s]” ? I think God does – but I also believe that we can do more. I know that for myself, the temptation to “do it myself” or “prove my worthiness” are just two examples of how I show my lack of faith in God.

This became painfully clear a few years ago as I felt God calling me to seminary. After leaving Penn State, I began to work in the IT field – yes, I was a computer geek. I started out working in Customer Support and Help Desk type jobs and eventually worked my way up to a programmer for an international company. This is what you do in the real world, right? Work your way up the ladder, making more money with each rung that you pass. The problem was, I wasn’t called to do this. I was ignoring God’s call on my life (for 8 years!) in order to “do it myself”. Don’t get me wrong – that job was someone’s calling, and a great one at that – but the key here is that it wasn’t MY calling! Sure, I was good at it, and could make an ever-increasingly good living at it – but I wasn’t being faithful to who God created me to be. Eventually God got through to me, and I understood, finally, that God had work for me to do in Seminary. But, in my mind, this was only a chance for me to become better educated and better prepared to lead God’s people in worship – not to be a preacher – that was for other people! Boy did I have a surprise coming!


And so knowledge, my primary desire from Seminary before I began, is another characteristic of the crowd on Palm Sunday that impresses me. These people knew their scriptures better than I even can imagine! I’ll confess that I’m terrible at memorization! I can’t remember many verses of scripture at all – except maybe John 3.16! But Psalm 118 was on their lips: “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD.” I wouldn’t have had that ready to proclaim, even if I did realize that it was the right thing to say (which I probably wouldn’t)! Mine would have been the mindless, wordless shouts of a fan at a football game, rather than the knowledgeable, appropriate and still-impassioned shouts of this faithful crowd.

They knew something I might not have realized – because they read Scripture, they had Scripture hidden in their hearts! This man, this Rabbi, this healer was so much more than what he seemed on the surface. Not just a carpenter, not simply an itinerant preacher, but Messiah, in the flesh! Can you imagine it? These people, the Holy Ones of Israel, have been waiting for generations for Messiah! The Prophets had been promising a Messiah who would have certain characteristics and complete certain things – and this man had quietly began to fulfill them all! Only in the last weeks had Jesus begun to make clear that He was Messiah. This entry into Jerusalem was like shouting it from the rooftops! Because, the prophet Zechariah had foretold this day:

Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion!
Shout, Daughter of Jerusalem!
See, your king comes to you, righteous and having salvation,
gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.

They knew what Scripture said, and could respond to this obvious claim to Messiahship with an appropriate acclamation, straight from the Psalms! Would we have had those words ready on our lips? Would we have known who He was and what to do about it? Because it’s not just knowing and understanding, but then acting on that knowledge.

Being faithful Jews, and knowing what is written about Messiah, the crowd is able to put this all together and worship with abandon! Theirs is not a reserved “golf clap” kind of praise – this is the all out abandon of people at a concert, or the Red Sox fans after their team won the World Series, or Penn State fans at homecoming! They throw their cloaks on the ground to make the path more comfortable, they sing Hymns and Psalms, they shout Hosannas and cut down tree branches in order to celebrate what is happening! They give everything they can in this historical moment, to give glory, praise, and honor to this King.

The next part includes my favorite line! The Pharisees start to put this all together too. They are really unhappy with the way this impromptu parade is turning out and they want it to STOP. And so, they rebuke Jesus, they scold him, and tell him to make these people shut up! Here it comes… the BEST part: Jesus responds by saying “I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” How great is that?! Even if we mess it up and miss out on the chance to worship with abandon, God has it under control. God will have all creation – even the ROCKS – worship Jesus rather than let Him go unheralded. Now, I don’t know about you, but I do not want to miss out. I’m not really sure what comes after that part – what if we all fail to worship and God has the rocks sing out in our place. What happens to us?

Personally, I’d rather not find out. I want to hear God’s strong, sure voice say to me “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I want to be able to understand what I see when Jesus comes again. I want to hear the rocks cry out with me, not instead of me.

I’d like to leave you with another short story, this time not about me:

The words to the hymn we sang at the beginning of our Worship this morning – All Glory, Laud and Honor – were written by Theodulph of Orleans, in France. The story is that he wrote these words while falsely imprisoned in a Monastery for conspiring with the King of Italy. The verses we sang this morning represent only a fraction of the couplets that Theodulph wrote – a total of 39 verses!

When King Louis of France was visiting the area, he stopped outside the monastery; Theodulph came to the window and began to sing this hymn. According to legend, when he finished, the King was so moved that he ordered the release of Theodulph .

Now, I don’t know if Theodulph sang all 39 verses or not – if he did, perhaps King Louis released him to prevent more verses being written. What I do know is this:

Giving all glory, all laud, and all honor to God brings us freedom from our prison of death. Praise God for His mercy and grace! Praise Him with faith, knowledge and passion – lest the rocks and all the rest of creation praise Him in our place!

See, your king comes to you, righteous and having salvation,
gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.
Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion!
Shout, Daughter of Jerusalem!

Amen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Charge and Benediction:

I mentioned earlier that I’m a bit of a geek. Well, that continues even outside the realm of computers: one of my favorite questions from The Shorter Catechism (one of the Confessions of our Reformed Tradition) is the very first one: What is the chief end of man, the chief end of humanity?

The answer is simple: Our chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.
Our chief end – our purpose – is to glorify God… with faith and knowledge and passion.

So now go out into the world in peace:
have courage;
hold on to what is good;
return no one evil for evil;
help the suffering;
honor all;
love and serve the Lord,
rejoicing in the power of the Holy Spirit.

And the blessing of God Almighty,
the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,
be upon you, and remain with you forever. Amen.

It was a good day yesterday

God is good... All the time!

The sermon went well. By the time I'd finished writing it on Saturday, I was actually feeling like it might work. God had really inspired me with words to say what needed to be said!

Sunday morning I was a nervous wreck, fidgetty and full of nervous energy. But, again, God provides... Once I started speaking - something happened, the Spirit intervened, and I felt like I was on auto-pilot (in a good way). God preached - how cool is that?!

Of course - little things bothered me. But they're not important. The only thing I'll mention should make you laugh. I never thought of this as something that I'll need to think about, but...





















I'm SHORT! And the pulpit at First Pres is a little too big for me! I feel like a little kid trying to be 'all grown up'! So, I stood off to the side a bit, so I wasn't completely hidden.

After the service, 8 of us went out to lunch at BJs. Thanks friends for your support and friendship. I had a great time!
















All the time... God is good!

Saturday, April 08, 2006

It's DONE!

I finished my first sermon ever earlier this evening - around 7.30pm. I got to practice it in Travis Auditorium (biggest room that I have access to on campus) and I'm feeling OK about it.

Now if only I could sleep!! This is what my body does when I'm nervous... it's going to be a loooooooooooooooooooooong night, my friends.

I have great friends who have been praying for me through this whole thing. Several of them are coming to church this morning - such a blessing.

Time for sleeping, if possible.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Happy Birthday to me!!

Yeah, i know - sounds like i'm fishing for attention...

But i don't care what you think!!!

It's my birthday!! :)

Already talked to mom, as i always do on my birthday. She did all the work and i get all the credit - which seems odd to me. So i call her and thank her and tell her i love her.